Destiny of my Heart!
By Sharon Holtz
Chapter Eighteen
________________________________________________
Knowing his unsolicited testimonial had been over-heard by
his son who had been the recipient of his inadequate parenting,
Jacob felt thankful Devin did not hold him solely at fault. With so
much already said between them, Jacob with great concern and
emotion, asked, “How are you?”
With a nervous tremor to his voice, Devin nodded as he said,
“I am good…I am good, and you? You’re looking well.”
To which Jacob answered, “I am….perhaps a bit older and
grayer…” He then warmly added, “….but I am well…even better
now…now you are home.”
Devin looked into his Father’s eyes, and when he saw the
acceptance and love shining there for him, he was able to let down
his guard, and open his heart to say “I’ve missed you Father…”
Looking over to Vincent, who was humbly waiting for his
moment, lifted his eyes when Devin said, “…and I’ve missed my
brother.”
He then walked over to Vincent, who advanced to meet him
half way. And so with a brotherly connection, that never dies, they
embraced, happy to be united once more.
With hope in his voice, Vincent asked, “Are you home for
Christmas?”
Devin answered his brother as he looked over to his Father for
approval and answered, “If I am welcome.”
Jacob looked back at him, determined he would try to right the
wrongs he had done as a father, with a tremble to his voice, Jacob
replied, “This is your home…you have always been welcome. And
if I was inadequate in conveying that to you through the years, well
I mean to say, if that is the reason you stayed away…then Devin, I
am sorry. As Vincent can tell you, and you heard me just say...if I
were given the gift of redoing yesterday…I would do so many
things different as your father.”
Tenderly Devin replied, “I heard...but I want you to know, it
wasn’t all you. For some reason, we both found it hard to
communicate our feelings to one another."
Devin reinforced his point by saying, "Vincent knows…he can
tell ya of how tongue tied I’d be when talking to you as a kid, or
else I would say the wrong thing to tick you off. Then later, I would
get so mad at myself, wondering why I kept saying or doing these
things to get ya angry at me.”
Vincent stood silent, feeling like the proverbial middle man
again, and feeling blessed at the same time, because he always had
a strong relationship with both his Father and brother. And it was
because of this fact he had always been the mediator in the family,
so why...lo these many years later…should it be any different now?
And so with the wisdom of a much beloved soul, who had
gained intense insight into the inter workings of these two strong
complex personalities through the years, Vincent, affectionately
contended, “Christmas is a good time for hopeful beginnings.
Perhaps we can let go of the painful past, but hold on to the dear
memories which binds us to one another, and start anew.”
He then put up his arms to encircle them both, and said, “Upon
Devin’s homecoming, Father...our prayers had been answered. This
is a second chance for us to be a family again.”
With hope Jacob looked from Vincent to Devin, and said,
“There is nothing I want or wished for more…”
As an unexpected tear made its way down Devin’s cheek, he
wiped it away and laughed as he said, “Oh man…look at me…”
But he wasn’t alone, as Jacob and Vincent wiped tears away as
well, because of this wondrous occasion, which tugged at all their
hearts, for it was Christmas and Devin had come home.
Jacob then in a fatherly manner said, “Well it is late, we better
get some sleep shall we? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! We have
much to celebrate.”
Both of Jacob's sons hugged him good night, and said they’d
see him in the morning. And so with their arms about each other’s
shoulders, Vincent and Devin made their way into the tunnels.
Jacob wanting to take in the site of his two boys once more,
hobbled to the threshold so he could watch them. It warmed his
heart to see these two brothers together again, walking down the
tunnel main, with their arms about each other. And he loved to see
they were talking non-stop, just like they did in their boyhood.
He then smiled and as he made his way back to his chair, he sat
down and raising his eyes to heaven, he said a prayer of thanks for
all the gratifying events which befell him today. Looking over at
the artifact John relinquished to him, he recounted, “My old friend
has found his heart again, and Devin, my son has come home.”
As the brothers made their way to Vincent’s chamber, Vincent
answered Devin’s many questions, filling him in on all the current
events of the tunnels, and he then told him more about…Catherine.
Happy to hear about this wonderful woman in Vincent’s life,
Devin revealed, “Peter told me she has made a huge difference
around here…even touched the ole’ man’s heart.”
Curiously Vincent asked, “You’ve seen Peter?”
To which Devin explained, “Yeah…it was cuz of him I found
the courage to face Father again.”
Surprised, yet not surprised Peter was behind helping to unite
their disjointed family, Vincent warmly said, “Peter helps us in so
many areas of our life here…and now to hear he aided our family
in this way…I am without words.”
Devin then optimistically said, “You know…I really think
things will be different between me and Father this time. I promise
I will try like hell on my part.”
As Vincent listened to his brother pledging his all to the
relationship with their Father, Vincent revealed, “I believe the time
is right, Father is ready to surrender his need for control…and
ready to just be…and to let be.”
Just then they heard Pascal yell from behind, “Devin? Is that
you?”
They stopped in their tracks and turned toward him. Devin
happy to see his ole’ pal again, answered, “Hey Pascal! Yeah it’s
me.”
Then both Vincent and Devin, with open arms, welcomed to
include him.
As Pascal added to the tunnel gang reunion, they embraced as
he said, “Together again…The Vikings unite!”
He then looked at Devin and said, “Ahhh it’s good to see you!
Are you home for Christmas?”
“I am here…” Devin then looked around and back at Pascal,
and expressed, “…and it feels so good to be back home.”
With an emotional tone, Pascal warmly said, “We’ve missed
you. Ahh, if only Winslow were here…then our motley crew
would be complete.”
The loss of Winslow still pained their hearts…and they all
agreed, his spirit would always be there within the tunnels, and his
bravery would never be forgotten.
Lightening the mood, Pascal then asked Vincent, “Hey does
Father know Devin’s home?”
In reply Vincent said, “Yes, we just left him. He is very
pleased.”
To which Pascal said, “No doubt! Hey what a great Christmas
this is gonna be!”
With a nod, Vincent agreed, and then with curiosity, he asked
Pascal what has taken him away from the pipe chamber at this
hour.
He looked concerned as he answered, “Mouse thought he
heard something on the lower quadrant pipe that runs through his
chamber. I went to check it out, but I didn’t hear anything.”
Thoughtfully, Vincent mentioned, “That pipe goes past the
Great Hall, beyond the mezzanine area pass.”
To which Pascal said, “Yeah, and I sent word to the sentry in
that area, but he said there was nothing unusual going on around
there, so who knows what it was. It may have been an animal or
something. Still…I will keep an ear out.”
As they prepared to part ways, Pascal and Devin expressed
once more how good it was to see each other, and they would
catch up tomorrow.
With a brotherly embrace, they said goodnight and headed on
to Vincent’s chamber.
“You sure I’m not putting you out?”
“No Devin…I have room.” As Devin got settled in, they
already talked as if no time had passed, feeling comfortable with
one another again.
As Devin took in the sight of the many keepsakes and artifacts
Vincent had about his chamber, he was taken back by the flood of
memories some of the items brought back. A soft laugh escaped as
he glanced at the old bust of King Tut, and onto a metal souvenir of
the Empire State Building, then when he saw the old telephone, he
said, “Remember how we tried to hook this up?”
With a smile in his eyes, Vincent nodded and recalled, “I
believe we momentarily retrieved a dial tone…”
“That’s right! Then William caught us and put a kibosh to
it…saying we may give away our location if we connected to
somewhere. Ahh what a kill joy he was!”
Devin then walked up to a project table to look at what
Vincent was working on. “Hmmm, stained glass depictions of
Cupid and Psyche…did you make these?”
“They are to be Catherine’s Christmas gift. Mouse is going to
help me solder the framing for them in the morning…and then they
shall be ready to give.”
As Devin looked over the fine craftsmanship, he incredulously
noted, “This must have taken you a long time! The pieces are so
intricate…”
And then thinking on the subject matter, he said, “…and what a
romantic premise! I mean Cupid and Psyche!”
Intently, Vincent commented, “They have a significant
meaning for us…and I wanted to expand on their importance for
Catherine’s gift.”
With awe, Devin looked at his brother, who he loved so very
much, and thought on how…the majority of his own life, he had
spent feeling guilty for leaving him behind. He then thought of how
ironic it was that Vincent was the one who had managed to find
love and happiness while within these sheltered tunnels, and he,
“The Great Adventurer” was the one still floundering.
With a feeling of maybe a little self pity, Devin thought of what
a handicap and hindrance his wounded heart from old childhood
issues had been for him.
Seeing the sadness within his brother’s eyes, Vincent asked,
“Devin?”
Knowing he must be wearing his heart on his sleeve, he
covered up the best he could, and said, “I am just so glad you have
found your someone, and are happy. I couldn’t ask for more for my
little brother.”
Vincent accepted his brother’s answer, and with a joyful
embrace, he said he couldn’t wait for Devin to meet Catherine.
And added it would be tomorrow night, because she will be coming
with her Father and Peter for Christmas Eve.
Humbly, Devin replied, “I’ll look forward to it…” He then
handled the old table juke box, and said, “Hey, I remember this!”
He then laughed as he read from the list of songs, “Don’t sit under
the Apple Tree, Boogie Woogie Bugle boy, Some Enchanted
Evening, Don’t fence me in, Zip a dee doo dah, this is classic! Oh
man…we used to wish we could play any one of these songs…just
to hear them.”
Vincent smiled as he thought back and remembered too the
magic music held for him as a boy. His only connection was the
vent under the grandstand, the place he had taken Catherine. And
so in agreement to Devin’s comment he said, “Yes…we could only
imagine those melodies from that musical catalog, and our
imaginations had no limits…they took us everywhere...we had so
many plans…”
Vincent’s last comment touched too close to home for some of
the regret Devin’s heart still harvested from the past. And so he
humbly looked at Vincent as he asked, “Do you forgive me
for…for you know, leaving…leaving you…”
Too painful for Devin to say himself, Vincent stepped up to
him, and finished the sentence for him and said, “For leaving me
behind?”
Devin looked downward as he nodded; waiting to hear Vincent's
answer to the question he was too ashamed to ask.
In his huskilated voice, Vincent replied, “There is nothing to
forgive Devin. When you left home, I knew deep in my heart,
leaving here could never be an option for me. But because of your
stories of future adventures we would make…those images gave
me so much…and in my dreams…I did go everywhere with you.”
Vincent then went on to give his brother one more gift of
acknowledgement by saying, “If not for you giving me the courage
to dream…I would not know Catherine…you have given me more
than you shall ever know or understand.”
With relief and ebbing emotion, Devin, embraced his brother,
feeling so thankful Vincent did not resent him in anyway. He then
said, “You’ll never know how much I wanted to take you…but I
knew Father would have killed me if anything would’ve happened
to you.” He then admitted, “I never meant to be gone very long…”
Warmly, Vincent replied, “You are home now and that is what
matters.”
After an exchange of a few yawns, the two knew it was time
for sleep, and feeling the contentment of connecting with someone
who really knows you, they said goodnight.
With only the night candle burning, they laid there in the
darkness, with their own private thoughts. Vincent, knowingly felt
as if the missing piece of his heart, which was ripped out when
Devin left home, had healed. And he was at complete peace now,
and could drift off to sleep, as all was right in his world.
And Devin, as he looked over at his unique brother, thought of
what a wonderful man Vincent had become. He has defied all the
odds and has made a fulfilling life for himself.
As he tearfully looked upward to the ceiling, he felt such
liberation, that Vincent did not resent him as he had feared he did
for so long, and with the banishment of all past regret, he vowed
not to give in to self pity or blame.
It could be just as Vincent said; Christmas was a good time for
new beginnings. And as Devin closed his eyes, he too was able to
drift off into a peaceful sleep, knowing the time had come for grace
and forgiveness on all their hearts.
To be continued
Chapter Nineteen
: }
By Sharon Holtz
Chapter Eighteen
________________________________________________
Knowing his unsolicited testimonial had been over-heard by
his son who had been the recipient of his inadequate parenting,
Jacob felt thankful Devin did not hold him solely at fault. With so
much already said between them, Jacob with great concern and
emotion, asked, “How are you?”
With a nervous tremor to his voice, Devin nodded as he said,
“I am good…I am good, and you? You’re looking well.”
To which Jacob answered, “I am….perhaps a bit older and
grayer…” He then warmly added, “….but I am well…even better
now…now you are home.”
Devin looked into his Father’s eyes, and when he saw the
acceptance and love shining there for him, he was able to let down
his guard, and open his heart to say “I’ve missed you Father…”
Looking over to Vincent, who was humbly waiting for his
moment, lifted his eyes when Devin said, “…and I’ve missed my
brother.”
He then walked over to Vincent, who advanced to meet him
half way. And so with a brotherly connection, that never dies, they
embraced, happy to be united once more.
With hope in his voice, Vincent asked, “Are you home for
Christmas?”
Devin answered his brother as he looked over to his Father for
approval and answered, “If I am welcome.”
Jacob looked back at him, determined he would try to right the
wrongs he had done as a father, with a tremble to his voice, Jacob
replied, “This is your home…you have always been welcome. And
if I was inadequate in conveying that to you through the years, well
I mean to say, if that is the reason you stayed away…then Devin, I
am sorry. As Vincent can tell you, and you heard me just say...if I
were given the gift of redoing yesterday…I would do so many
things different as your father.”
Tenderly Devin replied, “I heard...but I want you to know, it
wasn’t all you. For some reason, we both found it hard to
communicate our feelings to one another."
Devin reinforced his point by saying, "Vincent knows…he can
tell ya of how tongue tied I’d be when talking to you as a kid, or
else I would say the wrong thing to tick you off. Then later, I would
get so mad at myself, wondering why I kept saying or doing these
things to get ya angry at me.”
Vincent stood silent, feeling like the proverbial middle man
again, and feeling blessed at the same time, because he always had
a strong relationship with both his Father and brother. And it was
because of this fact he had always been the mediator in the family,
so why...lo these many years later…should it be any different now?
And so with the wisdom of a much beloved soul, who had
gained intense insight into the inter workings of these two strong
complex personalities through the years, Vincent, affectionately
contended, “Christmas is a good time for hopeful beginnings.
Perhaps we can let go of the painful past, but hold on to the dear
memories which binds us to one another, and start anew.”
He then put up his arms to encircle them both, and said, “Upon
Devin’s homecoming, Father...our prayers had been answered. This
is a second chance for us to be a family again.”
With hope Jacob looked from Vincent to Devin, and said,
“There is nothing I want or wished for more…”
As an unexpected tear made its way down Devin’s cheek, he
wiped it away and laughed as he said, “Oh man…look at me…”
But he wasn’t alone, as Jacob and Vincent wiped tears away as
well, because of this wondrous occasion, which tugged at all their
hearts, for it was Christmas and Devin had come home.
Jacob then in a fatherly manner said, “Well it is late, we better
get some sleep shall we? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! We have
much to celebrate.”
Both of Jacob's sons hugged him good night, and said they’d
see him in the morning. And so with their arms about each other’s
shoulders, Vincent and Devin made their way into the tunnels.
Jacob wanting to take in the site of his two boys once more,
hobbled to the threshold so he could watch them. It warmed his
heart to see these two brothers together again, walking down the
tunnel main, with their arms about each other. And he loved to see
they were talking non-stop, just like they did in their boyhood.
He then smiled and as he made his way back to his chair, he sat
down and raising his eyes to heaven, he said a prayer of thanks for
all the gratifying events which befell him today. Looking over at
the artifact John relinquished to him, he recounted, “My old friend
has found his heart again, and Devin, my son has come home.”
As the brothers made their way to Vincent’s chamber, Vincent
answered Devin’s many questions, filling him in on all the current
events of the tunnels, and he then told him more about…Catherine.
Happy to hear about this wonderful woman in Vincent’s life,
Devin revealed, “Peter told me she has made a huge difference
around here…even touched the ole’ man’s heart.”
Curiously Vincent asked, “You’ve seen Peter?”
To which Devin explained, “Yeah…it was cuz of him I found
the courage to face Father again.”
Surprised, yet not surprised Peter was behind helping to unite
their disjointed family, Vincent warmly said, “Peter helps us in so
many areas of our life here…and now to hear he aided our family
in this way…I am without words.”
Devin then optimistically said, “You know…I really think
things will be different between me and Father this time. I promise
I will try like hell on my part.”
As Vincent listened to his brother pledging his all to the
relationship with their Father, Vincent revealed, “I believe the time
is right, Father is ready to surrender his need for control…and
ready to just be…and to let be.”
Just then they heard Pascal yell from behind, “Devin? Is that
you?”
They stopped in their tracks and turned toward him. Devin
happy to see his ole’ pal again, answered, “Hey Pascal! Yeah it’s
me.”
Then both Vincent and Devin, with open arms, welcomed to
include him.
As Pascal added to the tunnel gang reunion, they embraced as
he said, “Together again…The Vikings unite!”
He then looked at Devin and said, “Ahhh it’s good to see you!
Are you home for Christmas?”
“I am here…” Devin then looked around and back at Pascal,
and expressed, “…and it feels so good to be back home.”
With an emotional tone, Pascal warmly said, “We’ve missed
you. Ahh, if only Winslow were here…then our motley crew
would be complete.”
The loss of Winslow still pained their hearts…and they all
agreed, his spirit would always be there within the tunnels, and his
bravery would never be forgotten.
Lightening the mood, Pascal then asked Vincent, “Hey does
Father know Devin’s home?”
In reply Vincent said, “Yes, we just left him. He is very
pleased.”
To which Pascal said, “No doubt! Hey what a great Christmas
this is gonna be!”
With a nod, Vincent agreed, and then with curiosity, he asked
Pascal what has taken him away from the pipe chamber at this
hour.
He looked concerned as he answered, “Mouse thought he
heard something on the lower quadrant pipe that runs through his
chamber. I went to check it out, but I didn’t hear anything.”
Thoughtfully, Vincent mentioned, “That pipe goes past the
Great Hall, beyond the mezzanine area pass.”
To which Pascal said, “Yeah, and I sent word to the sentry in
that area, but he said there was nothing unusual going on around
there, so who knows what it was. It may have been an animal or
something. Still…I will keep an ear out.”
As they prepared to part ways, Pascal and Devin expressed
once more how good it was to see each other, and they would
catch up tomorrow.
With a brotherly embrace, they said goodnight and headed on
to Vincent’s chamber.
“You sure I’m not putting you out?”
“No Devin…I have room.” As Devin got settled in, they
already talked as if no time had passed, feeling comfortable with
one another again.
As Devin took in the sight of the many keepsakes and artifacts
Vincent had about his chamber, he was taken back by the flood of
memories some of the items brought back. A soft laugh escaped as
he glanced at the old bust of King Tut, and onto a metal souvenir of
the Empire State Building, then when he saw the old telephone, he
said, “Remember how we tried to hook this up?”
With a smile in his eyes, Vincent nodded and recalled, “I
believe we momentarily retrieved a dial tone…”
“That’s right! Then William caught us and put a kibosh to
it…saying we may give away our location if we connected to
somewhere. Ahh what a kill joy he was!”
Devin then walked up to a project table to look at what
Vincent was working on. “Hmmm, stained glass depictions of
Cupid and Psyche…did you make these?”
“They are to be Catherine’s Christmas gift. Mouse is going to
help me solder the framing for them in the morning…and then they
shall be ready to give.”
As Devin looked over the fine craftsmanship, he incredulously
noted, “This must have taken you a long time! The pieces are so
intricate…”
And then thinking on the subject matter, he said, “…and what a
romantic premise! I mean Cupid and Psyche!”
Intently, Vincent commented, “They have a significant
meaning for us…and I wanted to expand on their importance for
Catherine’s gift.”
With awe, Devin looked at his brother, who he loved so very
much, and thought on how…the majority of his own life, he had
spent feeling guilty for leaving him behind. He then thought of how
ironic it was that Vincent was the one who had managed to find
love and happiness while within these sheltered tunnels, and he,
“The Great Adventurer” was the one still floundering.
With a feeling of maybe a little self pity, Devin thought of what
a handicap and hindrance his wounded heart from old childhood
issues had been for him.
Seeing the sadness within his brother’s eyes, Vincent asked,
“Devin?”
Knowing he must be wearing his heart on his sleeve, he
covered up the best he could, and said, “I am just so glad you have
found your someone, and are happy. I couldn’t ask for more for my
little brother.”
Vincent accepted his brother’s answer, and with a joyful
embrace, he said he couldn’t wait for Devin to meet Catherine.
And added it would be tomorrow night, because she will be coming
with her Father and Peter for Christmas Eve.
Humbly, Devin replied, “I’ll look forward to it…” He then
handled the old table juke box, and said, “Hey, I remember this!”
He then laughed as he read from the list of songs, “Don’t sit under
the Apple Tree, Boogie Woogie Bugle boy, Some Enchanted
Evening, Don’t fence me in, Zip a dee doo dah, this is classic! Oh
man…we used to wish we could play any one of these songs…just
to hear them.”
Vincent smiled as he thought back and remembered too the
magic music held for him as a boy. His only connection was the
vent under the grandstand, the place he had taken Catherine. And
so in agreement to Devin’s comment he said, “Yes…we could only
imagine those melodies from that musical catalog, and our
imaginations had no limits…they took us everywhere...we had so
many plans…”
Vincent’s last comment touched too close to home for some of
the regret Devin’s heart still harvested from the past. And so he
humbly looked at Vincent as he asked, “Do you forgive me
for…for you know, leaving…leaving you…”
Too painful for Devin to say himself, Vincent stepped up to
him, and finished the sentence for him and said, “For leaving me
behind?”
Devin looked downward as he nodded; waiting to hear Vincent's
answer to the question he was too ashamed to ask.
In his huskilated voice, Vincent replied, “There is nothing to
forgive Devin. When you left home, I knew deep in my heart,
leaving here could never be an option for me. But because of your
stories of future adventures we would make…those images gave
me so much…and in my dreams…I did go everywhere with you.”
Vincent then went on to give his brother one more gift of
acknowledgement by saying, “If not for you giving me the courage
to dream…I would not know Catherine…you have given me more
than you shall ever know or understand.”
With relief and ebbing emotion, Devin, embraced his brother,
feeling so thankful Vincent did not resent him in anyway. He then
said, “You’ll never know how much I wanted to take you…but I
knew Father would have killed me if anything would’ve happened
to you.” He then admitted, “I never meant to be gone very long…”
Warmly, Vincent replied, “You are home now and that is what
matters.”
After an exchange of a few yawns, the two knew it was time
for sleep, and feeling the contentment of connecting with someone
who really knows you, they said goodnight.
With only the night candle burning, they laid there in the
darkness, with their own private thoughts. Vincent, knowingly felt
as if the missing piece of his heart, which was ripped out when
Devin left home, had healed. And he was at complete peace now,
and could drift off to sleep, as all was right in his world.
And Devin, as he looked over at his unique brother, thought of
what a wonderful man Vincent had become. He has defied all the
odds and has made a fulfilling life for himself.
As he tearfully looked upward to the ceiling, he felt such
liberation, that Vincent did not resent him as he had feared he did
for so long, and with the banishment of all past regret, he vowed
not to give in to self pity or blame.
It could be just as Vincent said; Christmas was a good time for
new beginnings. And as Devin closed his eyes, he too was able to
drift off into a peaceful sleep, knowing the time had come for grace
and forgiveness on all their hearts.
To be continued
Chapter Nineteen
: }
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