Catherine entered her apartment lobby, and as she stomped the snow from her feet, she fumbled for her key to unlock her mail box. She could see through the little window that it was loaded! After taking a quick glance through the pile of letters, she could see that much of her mail seemed to be Christmas cards. This was bittersweet to her, because she loved sending and receiving cards this time of year, but as Christmas was drawing nearer, she knew this was yet another task she must get going on, and so she sighed aloud, "I better get busy." "What was that dear?" asked Miss Herman, who had overheard Catherine talking to herself. With embarrassment Catherine smiled at the sweet older lady from the 3rd floor, and explained, "As I noticed all of my Christmas Cards I received today; I thought I had better get my cards out this week too. Christmas is coming so fast." As they entered into the elevator together, Miss Herman commented, "Well everyone knows how busy you have been! Goodness gracious me, just think about it! You're a full fledged career girl, beginning a new job, not to mention your having to fly down to Florida when your father fell ill, and oh my, just before that, you kindly traveled there for that nice handsome young Doctor Alcott's mother's funeral. He took out my gall bladder you know." This comment tickled Catherine, and she tried to hide her smile, because YES, she DID know Peter was the surgeon for her infamous Gall Bladder operation! Catherine had heard about the whole procedure at least a dozen times now. Politely Catherine nodded yes, but before she could speak, Miss Herman then asked, "How is he coping since he had to bury his dear mother?" Thoughtfully, Catherine answered, "He is doing as well as can be expected I suppose. It has been hard on him." With a slight jolt, the elevator stopped at the 3rd floor, and as Miss Herman departed Catherine's company, she said, "And this time of year is especially heartrending to suffer the loss of a loved one isn't it? And I know of what I speak, because let's see...my Uncle Felix died on November 29, then my sister Mamey passed on December 22 the following year, and my 4th cousin on my mums side of the family passed on Cinco de Mayo, 10 years later! Oh I guess maybe she doesn't count uh? I mean being a Spring passing and all...and she was a strange one! But my point is shucks, a death around the holidays is testing. Well, give Dr. Alcott my fond regards. Just remind him I am the patient with the beauty mark fashioned like a kidney bean on my right hip! I know he'll remember me. Merry Christmas Dear." Catherine promised to tell Peter hello for her, and she wished her a Merry Christmas back. As the door closed, Catherine couldn't help but laugh aloud at all the info the sweet woman had flung at her in a matter of 15 seconds! A Kidney Bean birth mark? Oh my! Just as she opened the door to her apartment, the phone began to ring. Sifting through her mail as she answered the phone, she happily said, "Hi Dad! Yes, I just got home. Oh look at this! I received a Christmas card from Aunt Elaine and Uncle Douglas today! You did too? Oh it is so beautiful, isn't it? Let's see, what Aunt Elaine wrote:
Merry Christmas and have a healthy Happy New Year Dearest Cathy, Thank you for showing Robbie & Gerty such a great time in New York City. They are still raving about their visit! Send your Daddy our love, and tell him we are so thankful he is all right. We are all hoping to come for a visit soon, and we are shooting for the week between Christmas & New Year. We love you Sweetie, Auntie Elaine, Uncle Douggy, Gerty and Robbie
"Oh Dad it sounds like we are going to have some company. How wonderful!" Charles then mentioned they had issued the same warning in his Christmas Card too, and he has already alerted Willie to batten down the hatches! Catherine laughed and said, "You can't fool me Dad. I know you love their visits." Leafing through a few more cards, she noticed that she was a recipient of an official Christmas card from her father's firm! And so she chided, "Oh, and I see I am now an official member of the firm's "The People we Must send to" list. After reading it, she then sincerely said, Thanks Dad, it is really a beautiful card." Charles then asked about his daughter's first day working for the D.A. Optimistically, Catherine replied, "My day went fairly smooth, but it certainly isn't easy being the new kid on the block." Contemplating how to tactfully answer her father's next question, which was, did she think she will like it there. She knew her dad was probably hoping she would say it had been a mistake to leave the firm, and could she come back. And so she wanted to break it gently to him that she was happy about making this career change. Already she has felt rewards beyond words, as she helped Paul right some of society's wrongs on a few cases today. So softly she began, "Yes, so far. Working side by side with Paul is great, he is so professional, and an excellent mentor. Even Joe was fairly friendly today! You know Dad, Joe is a very busy man there. He seems to be very respected, and everyone's go to person. He has so much responsibility, answering to the police chief and Moreno all day long, and he is so passionate about his job! He expects nothing but the best from those working under him." Realizing she was coming on kind of strong talking about her new boss, she toned it down a bit by concluding, "It will be a good experience for me Dad, you have to admit, it won't hurt me any to think of those less fortunate for a change. I just grew so tired of all the self centered superficial things that used to consume my life before." Charles replied, that yes, a dose of reality is good for us all, but complimented her by saying even though she grew up affluent; she was always a compassionate, caring person, even as a small child. He then told her a sweet story about when she was about 4 years old. They had been shopping at the local Five and Dime, when she saw another little girl crying in a check-out line. She was crying because she was not able to get a Flintstones coloring book, just like the very one Catherine had in her hand. Deeply affected by the other child's tears, Catherine looked forlornly up at the little girl's disappointed, destitute parents, and told them, "I can give this book to her, I don't think I want it as much as she does." Fondly giggling, Catherine asked, "Are you sure it was a Flintstones Coloring Book Dad? It's hard to believe I would have given up anything where the Flintstones were concerned. I loved that cartoon so much, especially little Pebbles!" Her father said he was indeed sure, and that was what made him and her mother so proud of their daughter, because they knew how much Catherine enjoyed this prehistoric cartoon, and what a sacrifice she had made. Loving that her Dad would have remembered such an incident from so long ago about her, she humbly said, "Well I guess I must have learned from the selfless examples you and Mom had set for me Dad." In reply, Charles told his daughter they tried to be exemplary parents for their very extraordinary child, whom they loved so very, very much. Changing the subject back to work, out of his concern for her, he asked if she felt seeing Steven tomorrow was a wise thing, and should she ask for another case to be on instead. Catherine carefully answered, "I cannot deny it will be difficult seeing Steven being lead around by police officers tomorrow. It is so hard for me to imagine! I believe I do need to see him in court though, to be able to really accept, he IS a criminal. Sadly, our friendship didn't help direct him on a different path." Silently she listened to Charles, as he, in a fatherly tone, assured her she had done all she could for Steven. After all, what she thought was a newly rekindled friendship, was based on nothing but lies. He also reminded her we all make our own decisions on how we wish to live our life, and unfortunately, Steven chose a life of crime. Tearfully she acknowledged she knew her father was right of course. As he is always is about people and this journey called life. Trying to end their conversation on a lighter note, she changed the subject by mentioning, she would be stopping by the firm tomorrow. She needed to pick up a pair of snow boots she had left behind. Jokingly she added, "That is if Harvey hasn't discarded them yet! I know how he feels about clutter!" After sharing a few laughs, and personal opinions about her replacement, it was her Father's last comment that truly brought a smile to her beautiful face, which was to tell Vincent hello for him when she sees him tonight. In reply she warmly said, "If I see Vincent, I will give him your regards Dad. I'll see you tomorrow, Good night." After hanging up, she gently lifted the picture of her and her father, which was taken a few years ago. She found herself crying without warning. Loving and appreciating her dear father more now, than she ever had. Perhaps it was his loving support about Vincent, or maybe...it was this underlying dread, which has plagued her heart since he became sick in Florida. Yes, since then, she has been even more aware of how much she loved and needed her father still, though she was this grown-up woman. Wiping the tears away she decided not to borrow tomorrow's sorrow, and just cherish each day she is able to share with her dear, dear father. Hanging up his phone, Charles answered Willie's call for supper, by saying, "I will be there in a moment Willie." He then picked up the picture he had been staring at all through his phone conversation with his daughter. And as he looked at Catherine's toothless grin, he wondered where had the years gone? Seems like only yesterday, Catherine was 6 years old, running up to inform him, she had lost her front toof! And now, well now she is living on her own, and working on a turf, separate from his. And it is so very difficult to accept that maybe she deems it a more respectable career, than working at his corporate firm. But hey, they had discussed all this at length before. Corporate law is working for and with big brother. After all, American companies have legal rights, and it IS important to defend them too, but it is different than working with individual clients. And Catherine realized her heart was not in corporate as his was, but rather, with everyday people. There is a place for everyone, and everyone in this life has a place. It's what makes the world go round. Still he searched his soul, to understand the heaviness which lingered yet in his heart. Ultimately he reasoned, there was one other major factor which was causing him much concern, and that was the unconventional boyfriend issue. Was he right to advise her to follow her heart? Is he right to trust Vincent so unconditionally? But in promising to respect Catherine's judgment, MEANS trusting Vincent. Still is Catherine truly aware of what it entails being in this relationship, and all she is giving up? He believes she does, but she is newly in love, and any sacrifice is romanticized right now. But what about in a few years? Will she regret not having any children, and will she resent him later on for not giving her an objective perspective? Or, would he alienate her now for giving it? Yet still...though this quandary pained him much, he felt there was a different heaviness in his heart remaining, which bothered him. Delving a little deeper, as he painfully admitted some issues to himself, he felt an affirmation, as he laid his finger on the nagging, heart tugging culprit. The culprit seemed to be, all the losses he's had to deal with lately. Firstly, the dream of his daughter working side by side with him, becoming a full fledged partner is gone. There will never be a Chandler & Chandler shingle hanging on the door. Secondly, his dream of a huge Church wedding for his daughter, where he would proudly walk her down the aisle to her waiting betrothal, in front of God's, family and friend's witness. And thirdly, the role of being a proud grandpa one day is gone as well. There will be no offspring of his only child to spoil. Does she realize there will be no one to carry on her dear late mother's lineage if she has no children, or even his own? How it pained him wondering if he should say more about this subject. Being the good man he was, he knew this was about more than facing his own mortality, but was truly about his wife and daughter's. If Catherine has no children, then his wife is truly gone from this earth forever, there will be no one left to keep any part of her alive, and he was finding this truth a difficult thing for him to bear. In a private moment of prayer, his faith snapped him out of his lonely downward spiral, realizing he may never know these answers...and accepting the fact that some things are simply out of his control. He suddenly found peace in knowing he must do what every parent must one day do...and that is...let her live her own life. He would give his child the gift of silent self-sacrifice, and this he would do so lovingly for his daughter. Catherine took a quick shower, before settling in with some inspiring Perry Como Christmas music, a cold turkey sandwich, and a reheated cup of last night's coffee. Sitting on her bed with her fine dining before her, she grabbed Steven's case file, to update herself on the newly compiled background info on him. But all the while she read and researched, she thought of Vincent, hoping he would come to see her tonight. To be continued Chapter Four : }
Destiny of my Heart! By Sharon Holtz Chapter Three _____________________________________________________